Starving in the Land of Obesity

I stopped posting here almost a year ago, When reading back the old posts it struck me at how many things really havent changed. The most significant however is that as of 3 months ago I have a diagnosis, after 4+ years for suffering off and on and countless trips to the hospital. I have Gastroparesis (gas-trow-pah-re-sus) - Paralysis of the stomach that is estimated to effect 5 million Americans with no cure and few treatments. Foods eaten take hours or even days to leave the stomach leading to Nausea, Pain, Vomiting, Malnutrition, Bloating, Weight Issues and More.. It does not mean you are not hungry it means that you are starving and cannot eat the food right in front of you.

So with that in mind and me struggling more then ever, I have changed this blog to reflect what I now know and hope that I can be a small voice in Gastroparesis awareness thru my own struggles with this chronic condition.

Ive had this for quite some time and never knew what it was and as the years have gone by things have gotten worse so im sitting here feeling as if Ive been hit by a mac truck trying to figure out how to cope.

Less then a year ago
I was on a upswing after surgery last year to remove endo and to place an IUD and I was 160 pounds
a little hefty for my 5'9ish frame but happy all the same to be able to go out and live a little.


Then just over 3 months ago I started feeling seriously bad again, I got a flu, a cold and the stomach flu over the winter and it was just starting to warm up so I was hoping whatever was happening would pass quickly.. it didnt.. it progressively got worse as the days went by, I went to the hospital and they sent me home, I went to a GI dr and he wouldn't listen, within 24hrs I was back in the hospital, acidoic and starving.. I ended up staying for 7 days.. This was what had to happen for me to get tested for everything and how I learned I had GP.

I am fighting starvation everyday, In the US where Obesity is king. Who says starvation cant happen in America? Millions have GP and yep most people including dr's and nurses have never heard of it.. I'm now at 125 pounds and it only took 4 months to get this way..

Just the simple act of drinking water can cause me so much pain and discomfort, I refuse to be ok with that. I know that there is no cure and I know the treatments suck, Im on Domperidone now and it's not doing much to help. I know I dont have many options. But I REFUSE to starve to death, I will never be able to act like all this pain is just "my life" and to be dealt with.. This is NOT normal and it's NOT minor. I am a fighter and it may be a losing battle but I still have to fight. My GI Dr, has been less then helpful.
Ive had to learn so much the hard way. Some days Im to sick to even cry, like crying would be an understating action to the seriousness of how I feel..
 
I as you might be able to tell am not coping so well yet, Heh Im lacking to many vitamins and nutrients for my coping mechanism to really function pepper it with pain, exhaustion, discomfort and nausea and it fogs up my brain to the point some days that I barely function at all to be honest.. I find myself on auto pilot just going thru the motions of being alive..

I have so much more I want to say... But this post alone has tired me out so bad I cant sit up straight. I need to lay down. But I hope this gets us off to a clear start..
Thank you for reading
-Gwen



Comments

Will Uter said…
You know how I hate for you to suffer. I know there's nothing I can say or do to make things better for you, but I hope that knowing you have people like me who care about you will provide some small degree of comfort.
bairdduvessa said…
i really knew how to help you, to heal you. i don't want you in pain. is there a way to get an at home iv so you can at least get your nutrients?
Ilectra said…
@bairdduvessa Maybe if I had a Dr that gave a shit..
Ilectra said…
@Will I wish I could say it really does help but its complicated.. a future post may touch on some of the issues where people are involved.
Will Uter said…
I hope you talk about it in the future. I'd like to know.

Popular Posts

Denial Ninjas and the Road to accepting my life with Chronic Illness

I'm not Shakespeare!!!

Gastroparesis Awareness Month