Anti op Pre op

So I went in for my Pre op appt this morning and had some bombs dropped on me.
1. Ive lost yet another 5 pounds, duh
2. My surgery is postponed
3. My Dr had to postpone my surgery because her boss thinks it important to put me thru an incredibly painful test for IC or painful bladder syndrome that wont matter and so the surgery will still have to happen but they wanna do this first = more time like this and more prolonged pain.
4. My Dr strongly feels that all this sickness is totally GI and in no way related so that means seeking out more Dr's. Even though my last trip to the hospital said oh go to the OBGYN cause thats where we feel your problems are. So now im in a game of shuffle around the sick patient.

I foolishly pinned way to many hopes on the idea that the surgery would find all my answers and thus render me able to be fixed up and on my way in no time. So all this news hit me in the worse way today. Im frustrated and dont know what to do and all my reasoning seems to fall on deaf ears.

Im losing weight left and right I have gotten to the point I feel nausea just from chewing. I go thru the chemical,mental and physical process of fear each time im hungry cause im so scared that what I eat will cause me to hurt so bad and feel so sick, yet I cant starve myself much more then I already am or I really will die.

I took some comfort in the idea that I was standing at the edge of some answers, but today kinda blew that out of the water for me.

Im supposed to get married in Oct, but how can I do that? How can I marry a guy that im not going to be able to be the wife that he or any man would need. I cant make love in my current state as the pain and bleeding it causes it just to much. I get so sick that I cant stand even the sound of a voice so he has to go hide on the computer til it passes. I cant eat so we cant enjoy that together, I cant travel and often times I cant even sit up. I try so damn hard to keep most of this to myself but he see's how it REALLY is. Im not the woman he fell in love with, Im not the woman I fell in love with.

Eh now I feel like im just whining and babbling rather then offering any real insight, so for now Im gonna go. But I am so lost right now and dont know what to do.

Thanks for reading


bairdduvessa said…
oh hon that sucks. i know that they are trying to cover all their bases but there any way you can skip the other tests?
LA_Greaser said…
If only there was something I could do to help :(

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